Lost that Loving Feeling?

Last week we defined love as a three-sided triangle (passion, intimacy, and commitment).  We usually judge the love in our relationship by looking at only one leg of the triangle.  If the passion is gone, we assume we’ve “fallen out of love.”  But, the good news is: we still have other pieces of the triangle.

Intimacy steps up to keep things warm if passion is running dry, and there’s the old-fashioned, grownup word “commitment” to help us “stick it out” when things are really rough.  But, nobody wants to live like that forever.  Marriage without passion is boring; love without intimacy is shallow.[1]

So, what happens to love after the wedding?  Everybody has asked themselves that question at some point.  We start singing the Righteous Brothers’ tune “Lost that Loving Feeling” and worry that our marriage is going to end up as another statistic.[2]  Psychologist and relationship researcher Dr. Dorothy Tennov says most couples “fall out of the love obsession” after two years of marriage.  Then what?  For those committed to not being another statistic, are they doomed to a lifetime of misery and loneliness?